This is my oldest tweedle, Lou-Lou. Isn't she the cutest, brightest, sweetest looking little chicken you've ever seen?! Her dad and I would like to keep her that way. So, we have made the choice to home school her and that is precisely the reason that today feels a little weird.
You see, today is the first day of public school and her old school happens to be across the street. I have to admit that sitting here, watching out the window as people drop their children off, is a little strange. I wasn't expecting it, but it almost feels like I'm doing something wrong by letting my tweedle snooze soundly in her bed on this cloudy morning.
I guess I didn't realize how ingrained certain traditions were deep inside my inner brain. I mean I got up and got dressed in my new clothes and had pictures snapped of me on the first day of school my entire childhood. Lou, Lou did too, for the last 4 years (including preschool) and I must admit it seems strange to have stepped out of that box of sameness. Kind of dangerous in a way. I didn't realize conformity has such strong arms.
Now, let me make something perfectly clear...I KNOW we are doing the right thing for her. You see that smile on Lou's face that radiates from inside and makes her all shiny? THAT is the smile of innocent, blissful happiness. It is a smile from a girl (at her favorite place on earth- Pop and Grammy's farm) who knows in her very soul that she is loved, that she is a precious creation of God and that all is right in her world. It is also a smile that showed up less and less last year as the school year went on. I celebrate the fact that by our decision she will not be forced into situations that she is not ready for. And that she will not have to have things floating around in her brain that are inappropriate for her to be pondering (and oh how that kid ponders.) And that she will be able to keep her innocence for a little bit longer than the average kid in public school.
I just know she will flourish in a home school setting. She is a curious little thing and super smart. I'm happy that we can foster these qualities instead of letting her peers (and the system as a whole) eventually shame it out of her in the name of conformity. Different, in her case, is a GOOD THING. She is different in all the right ways!
Lest you think that I am naive about the world and home schooling let me make this disclaimer...I know it won't be a cake walk and I don't want to protect her from everything. I understand that eventually she will go out into the world and be subjected to all its good and bad. I don't want to cripple her socially. In fact, the opposite is true. I want to be open with her. HELP her navigate things when the time is right. I want to teach her to be her own person and stand up for what she believes so that when she is exposed to those things, she will be able to rest on a solid foundation of truth. Most of all, I want her to stay confident in the most important part of who she is...A BELOVED CHILD OF OUR LORD, JESUS CHRIST.
The other day she asked me if she could still wear a dress the first day of homeschool. My emphatic answer was "YES, YOU CAN!" and don't you know I'm still going to take lots of pictures, too!