Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Why "The Unconventional Doctor's Wife?"

So what makes me such an anomaly in the world of doctors' wives? I know that some of what I am about to say is stereotypical and generally I try not to box people in to a category. However, I'm not talking about what is true about us, I'm talking about what people THINK is true about us. So allow me to state what I think is the assumed profile of a doctors wife...

1. Trophyish(is that a word?) You know what I mean...a doctor could marry anyone...I mean he makes bank, right?
2. Materialistic. Doctors are busy and their wives need something to do while they make ALL that money, right? What could be a better "job" than shopping.
3. Stuck upish. She might think she's just a little bit better than the average woman because of her better than average catch of a man.
4. Lives a life of leisure. With her pampered life, she must have plenty of time to get pedicures, facials, lipo, botox....oh yes, and shop some more.
5. Generous in charitable donations but not necessarily her time. And if she gives her time, it is most likely symbolic, not real roll-up your sleeves type of volunteering.
6. Probably grew up in well-to-do situation. After all, those charm classes come in handy for schmoozing all those important people she and her husband come into contact with. And she must fit in with the country clubbers, right?

Now, lets look at me...
1. (Trophyish) Ok...so let's face it, this one sort of fits me...JUST KIDDING. I mean, I guess I have my positives but most of them are not physical. Especially after having 4 children in 6 years. Pregnancy, breastfeeding and general parenting will whip the "the trophy" right out of anyone.
2. (Materialistic) While I like nice things, I would not say I'm materialistic. I love to shop but seldom buy. I am more interested in a day out at the mall just to get out of my house. However, Doc, is a "gifty" person. He loves giving me gifts but I think I have sucked the joy out of it because I would rather have his TIME than his gifts. When we first we're married, he expected me to be over the moon about gifts but honestly, I look at them and see a block of time that he worked that he could have been home instead of earning money to buy me something. Although, I'm not complaining mind you. I mean what kind of crazy woman doesn't like gifts from her hubby!
3. (Snobby) I "pride" myself in being unsnobby. I think that I have been blessed beyond what I deserve and my life isn't a result of me being a better person than the next gal. It is a direct result of God's blessing and my parents constant covering over me with prayer as I grew up. And I have to add here that good decisions didn't hurt my cause either. Besides that, I look at it as a complete waste of time to get all dolled up to pretend that I have it more together than my fellow Wal-Mart shoppers.
4. (Leisurely Life) Let's see, is there any mother of 4 on this earth that lives a life of leisure? (Unless, she has a "staff") However, I will not deny that lipo or maybe a breast lift may be part of my future but not because I'm bored or have time to kill. I just want my parts to be back where God put them to begin with. Besides that...for me to be leisurely, I have to find a babysitter and plan ahead and make sure there is a lengthy list of directions and emergency contact info and sometimes it is too much work for 2 hours of freedom.
5. (Volunteering vs. Contributions) While we do donate to charitable causes, I like to be involved. However, I discovered that when people know who I am, they have preconceived notions about what I bring to the table...namely they think I come with a big check and lots of contacts with big checkbooks. That is not necessarily the case. I think this is disappointing to some. The other thing they do is use me to legitimize their cause...for example, "This is Doctor's Wife and she has been involved with our organization for a while now." I found that I am not just myself in the world of volunteerism...I am a symbol. I am THE DOCTOR'S WIFE. I just can't stand that I am more valuable because of who I am married to than for the things I bring to the table for their organization.
6. (Rich Kid) My background, while happy, was not privileged. It was happy ignorance. I LIKED mac n' cheese. I didn't know that a box of it was 39 cents and that is why my mom made it. We didn't go on fancy vacations...we went to grandma's house. And the Country Club? Not hardly.

See, I'm just an average Jane that ended up marrying a guys who happened to find his calling in an exam room. No more, no less. I do, however, delight in the occasional overheard conversation in our small town Wal-Mart...

Person 1: Did you see that lady with all the kids.
Person 2: Yes.
Person 1: That's Doctor's wife.
Person 2: REALLY? She's not what I expected.

I take that as a compliment. It means I'm different and UNCONVENTIONAL.

1 comment:

Jessi said...

Trophy might describe you...I've only got two kiddos and I don't bounce back from childbirth like you do! :) Hee Hee. You are a hot momma!