With Bub's hospitalization, I have had moments where I was haunted by the "What ifs"...
What if this had happened when we were on a mountain Monday or Tuesday?
What if it had been when we were horseback riding and he was on a horse by himself?
What if it had happened when I went for a jog and left my phone in the car and Doc was alone with the kids?
What if I had decided to get a massage that afternoon instead of stay and take a nap in their room?
What if Mom and Dad hadn't met Rebecca's husband while they were on vacation?
What if those people who helped us didn't take the time to do so?
The resounding answer to all of these "what ifs" is this...IT DIDN'T HAPPEN THAT WAY.
God had it under control from the beginning. He prepared our way and walked it before us. He was not caught off guard or shocked when Bub stopped breathing well and started turning blue on that living room floor. He knew how things would go down. He always knows. How freeing to know that whatever life brings, there are some constants. His love and provision for us is always there. Even when things don't go as planned. (Even if things hadn't turned out as well as they did.)
He is always there.
I know that He will be there today, with Bub, as he starts Kindergarten but my Mommy heart wishes I could stay there with him and sit next to him and make sure everything is alright.